Be a “glass half full” person

Be a glass half full personNegative thinking is a default for some people. These “glass half empty” people often find themselves thinking, “Why me? I have the worst luck. Everything’s terrible.” But if this sounds like you, changing your thoughts isn’t as easy as flipping a switch.

During a particularly off week recently, I found my glass looking pretty empty too. It was in this moment I heard a strong, independent woman’s voice in my head say, “Ain’t nobody gonna fill your glass but you.”

At first I thought, “RuPaul, is that you?” But no…it was me realizing that within reason, I’m responsible for filling my own glass.

I find the more that people dwell on their own misfortunes and how things don’t automatically benefit them, the emptier their glasses start to look.

Here are some ways to overcome the negative, “glass half empty” point-of-view:

  1. Accept that not everything is designed for YOUR fulfillment.

Life’s about give and take. Sometimes you’ll be on the giver’s side and receive nothing in return. Guess what? That’s OK. Not everything can result in instant gratification, but you might still have to do it.

  1. Accept that not everything is about YOU.

I think Carly Simon said it best.

  1. Accept that ain’t nobody gonna fill your glass but YOU.

Positive feedback from praise is a wonderful thing, but sometimes when you’re kicking ass and taking names in life, you’re doing it because it’s what’s expected of you. Learn to give yourself a solo pat on the back for even the smallest of accomplishments and move on. Just because you’re not praised, doesn’t mean you haven’t done well.

Now that we’re learning to escape the pity party of one (which isn’t easy), in my next post I’ll cover general tips to view your glass as half full.

In the meantime, let me know in the comment section how you fill your glass, or take it from these guys.

 

7 thoughts on “Be a “glass half full” person

  1. I usually try and look at things objectively while reminding myself that usually, I try and do what’s best at the time. Like, ok, this is a certain way, but what’s so bad about it, how can I change it, and if I can’t, what’s the nuclear option? There have been a few times in my life when I’ve had to pick the nuclear option, but I don’t regret it, because at the time it was the best choice I thought I could make. And don’t be so hard on yourself

    • Looking at things objectively is great advice. It also makes it easier to not be so hard on yourself, when you try to view the situation from an outside perspective. It’s often not as bad as you think in the moment.

  2. “Just because you’re not praised, doesn’t mean you haven’t done well.”
    This is so important. There comes a point in our adult lives when suddenly, we aren’t getting patted on the back every time we accomplish something like when we were kids. (Another interesting thought: do we over-praise children? Are we failing them by setting them up to feel like they need constant acknowledgement in their adult lives?)
    I’ve found recently at school, I was suddenly thrown in with the best and brightest from across the country. No longer was I a super star, but was really just … average! Which is okay! What I’ve found has helped is setting my OWN goals and feeling self-pride in achieving them. Constantly comparing ourselves to others is unhealthy and a dangerous path to go down. Now, comparing myself to only my self, the accomplishments and goal-reaching feels so much better and a nice lead in to setting new goals and constantly aiming to be my best self.
    Great post Jill, looking forward to future posts 🙂

    • Thanks Andrew!

      Yes, setting your OWN goals and being happy when you achieve them is key. The only person you can change is yourself, so waiting on external approval that doesn’t come isn’t always going to help you progress or feel satisfied. You have to do that on your own.

      I once had a meeting where a few people had to show their work, and someone was disappointed they didn’t receive feedback on the spot, and felt it was a waste of time. The feedback came a week later. This is a key example that not everything is going to go the way you want, and not everyone is going to tell you you’re a rockstar when you want to hear it. That’s life. But if you feel you’ve done well, praise your dang self and enjoy it anyway!

  3. Love these tips Jill. I definitely think in our society we do expect instant gratification and praise from others. We want validation and success right away, but just because we don’t get it immediately doesn’t mean we aren’t on our way there! I look forward to reading your next post.

    • Thanks Victoria! Slow and steady sometimes wins the race, right? We can’t get praised for every little thing along the way, but like you said, it doesn’t mean we’re not on our way there!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s